As a person, it is irritating when people don’t do their fair share, but if you are at all feminist, it’s much more complicated. There are principles at stake.
There is often the unspoken question: is it being left to me because I am the female? This incurs a wrath born of social inequities, turning a personal situation into a political one. It becomes less of a question about whether you should always have to clean the floor and transmutes into whether women should always have to clean the floor.
Life is full of minor injustices. Some are gender-related but many are not. So, in my mission to bring solace to struggling souls, here’s a suggestion: What if we dealt with each event on it’s own merits, without second-guessing at potential chauvanisms?
I am often guilty of being over-sensitive, reading into my husband’s behaviour issues that hadn’t even occurred to him. For example, I may be angrily wondering if he’s left the washing up because he believes I, as the female, should do it, when in reality, he’s leaving it because he simply can’t be bothered! (Now that I can identify with….)
The feminist argument is a strong one and there are still battles to be fought, but give yourself permission, in the so-called sanctuary of your own home, to take a little time out of the battle. Instead of asking, is it fair that women have to do this, just ask, is it fair that I have to do it? The answer may still be no, but dealing with the task at hand is much less exhausting than taking on the world every time.
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As always, I’d love to hear what you think!
Housework Blues is available now in paperback and ebook formats. Click here for more details.